You go, George!

So I was watching coverage from the Indiana Jones party in Cannes.... They were showing pictures of the Red Carpet (Le Tapis Rouge, for all you French speakers) and you saw Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart, Stephen Spielberg (dateless, I believe -- but of course he is married) and George Lucas with his date...... Mellody Hobson!




For those of your who don't know, Mellody Hobson is the chief financial contributer for Good Morning America, writes regularly for Black Enterprise magazine and president of a financial advising firm called Ariel Capital Management/Investments, the first such firm started by an African American (John W. Rogers Jr. in 1983). Apparently, they have been dating since 2006.

Here they are at a Costume Institute Gala earlier this year.

And at Time's 100 Most Interesting People gala........

You go, George! And you go, girl too!

It has been confirmed!

So, it is a well known legend and I have suspected that this rumor had legs, based on my own personal experience, but I wouldn't say that I have observed a statistically relevant sample size but apparently there has been scientific study on this topic and it has now been confirmed.....

African-American men are, ON AVERAGE, more well-endowed than white and Asian men. And this applies to not only length but girth as well.

Tracey Cox, a sex and relationship expert who has appeared on CNN and Oprah, writes about this and many other sex myths in her article "The Top Ten Sex Myths (Only 2 are true!)" at iVillage.com.

Happy Valentine's Day!

So Valentine's Day is sort of a mixed bag of emotions for me....

It is my parents' anniversary, which is nice, although probably not as romantic as it might seem. My mother alluded that she knew that my dad would never forget their anniversary with a whole industry reminding him, weeks in advance, that the day was coming. Anyway, they celebrate their 41st wedding anniversary today! Wow!


As for me, two years ago, I got broken up with on my Valentine's Day weekend trip to see my boyfriend. So, that is not such a good memory but it was actually a catalyst for me to start blogging! My second ever post was a poll about the situation, as a few of you may remember.

I can count the times that I have gotten flowers on Valentines day on one hand, two fingers to be exact, and one time was from my parents! Until today! Now, let's hear it for 3 fingers! As you can see, I recieved a lovely bouquet of red, pink and white tulips this year and I have to admit, I am really pleased!

I know it seems a little stupid to get all wrapped up in a holiday that is largely the creation of commercialism but for me it is really about being appreciated. And, while it is truly better to feel appreciated throughout the entire year and not just on one day, especially when relationships are new, it is really nice when someone takes advantage of the opportunity to show that they care!

Rising above....

I am not a very dramatic person. I give people the benefit of the doubt and try to see all sides of something. I do not fly off the handle. You have to do something really extreme to make me mad. But when I do get mad, I get mad.

Even when I am mad though, I do not fly off the handle right then and there. But I have an intense need to confront the person afterwards, especially if I feel that something was done deliberately.

But when someone does something to you purposefully to illicit a reaction then you lose your power in the situation when you react. And, lets face it, many people often don't really learn the consequences of their actions unless the consequences are clear and definite.

So, I am in a situation where a person's actions makes me question if I even want to be around them anymore. What makes it even more disappointing is that it was immediately preceded by a very enjoyable time when I thought we were really connecting. I really want to yell and go off on this person, maybe even hang up the phone on them (which I never do) if I hear anything other than an apologetic tone. But I am going to rise above, at least for now. Silence can have a powerful message.

Timing...

It is becoming more and more evident to me that what is important in relationships, maybe just as important as the person you choose (or who chooses you) is timing. I think this is probably under-emphasized when we talk about relationships. If I look back on the people I have dated and met over the years, some have been the wrong people at the right time and some have been the right people at the wrong time.....

And this is probably why it doesn't get talked about much. Because, lets face it, finding the right person at the wrong time is just painful and there is nothing that you can do about it. You can't go back or forward in time and have the person you are now meet the person they were/will be then.

And that is what is so frustrating about it all. The lack of control that you have. I guess all you can really do is work on being the best person that you can be and make sure that you are ready to receive when they do come along....

Watch NBC Nightly News this week!

News about this series has been going around but in case you haven't heard yet, Brian Mitchell is doing a 5 part series starting Monday on the problems facing African-American women in this country. Topics will range from education to relationships, the 2008 election to health, interracial dating to the portrayl of women through hip hop music.

Please check it out and encourage others you know to do so as well! On your local NBC station. You can also check www.msnbc.com for message boards and blog entries on the series.

Essense has an expose on 60 black bachelors who love black women..... Can you say "Ahhhhh!"

Check it out!

http://www.essence.com/essence/dorightmen/index.html

Okay, there are a couple I am really tempted to email!

a depressing thought....

The other day I had a depressing thought....

I am running out of single female friends..... I mean this can be combined with the fact that I went to a wedding a week or so ago. I thought about bringing a date but agreed with the other single friend that I knew was going to not so that we could both be single together. And when I got the guilt trip from a male aquaintence who still had not seen my house and agreed in principle to have a few people over this weekend and he told me to invite my cute single friends, it really hit me. I don't really have many anymore. I think there are currently 3. The others have either moved away, gotten married, have serious boyfriends...... And then there is me.... :-(

Okay, this is not a pity party but I have noticed that some of my social habits have changed not because of my lack of interest in those activities but because of lack of people to do them with.... I love to dance, I love to go out to clubs. I used to have a great hanging buddy and friend and we used to go out every weekend, Friday and Saturday. Now, that was a little overkill but we had a blast! So, I don't have many going out friends now. Well, the ones I have are a little more low key than I like to be all the time which makes me sad from time to time...

Also, most of my best friends live in other cities. There isn't really an easy way to replenish your friends once you get past school/grad school age. You aren't really ever forced into large groups of people you have things in common with anymore. You spend most of your time either at work or at home and it's not like you get in in-depth conversations with other women at the grocery store or the gym. And the friends I have, while still great people are starting to talk about or have babies and the awful selfish thought I have is, "oh well... there goes that." And one by one, I lose the ability to relate to them for a few years. I mean, I relate as much as I can but what do I know about boppies and the best diaper pails etc.

I suppose I wouldn't worry about this so much if I were in a relationship. Although, a guy is never a substitute for a girlfriend. Sadly, guys don't always last forever. But your girls are there to lift you up and push you forward and hold you up when you can't for yourself.