I have had a very pivotal year this year. Not that major life changing events have happened in my life, but I have seen things happen around me. A number of folks I know have had babies in the past couple years but a few months ago, I learned that my best friend is pregnant. We have been friends for 22 years now. As an only child I have the gift to be able to choose the people I get to think of as sisters, and she is about the closest thing to a sister I will have. So, in spring next year, I will become an aunt!
On an opposite note however, I have seen the family of some good friends struck with some unbelievable tragedy. A friend of mine from graduate school was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 29, a few months after we graduated and a week after she married another classmate of ours. In May, 3 years after a great 35th birthday celebration at her parent's home in NC, five and a half years after she was diagnosed, she lost her fight with this disease. I have been meeting to write about her, her wonderful spirit, and the joy with which she embraced life for months now. And I will do so soon.
But tonight I wanted to write about another friend of mine, who I mentioned in an earlier post. Ryan was living his dream, getting the recognition he deserved and being able to earn a living pursuing his passion --- opera singing. Ryan attended Morehouse University as a voice major and was a proud member of the Morehouse Glee Club. After graduation he went on to pursue a masters degree at Ohio University. But after school he struggled to earn a living singing. He secured a few regular paying gigs, including parts with the Atlanta Opera and as a featured tenor with a church in the area. But after numerous rejections, he started to give up on his dream. In a last attempt, he decided to audition for the Metropolitan Opera's Young Artist competition, a yearly competition that whittles down approximately 11,000 applicants into the 6 most promising young singers in the industry. The cut off age for the competition is 30 and this was Ryan's last year of eligibility. And in 2007, at age 30, Ryan became one of the winners of this pretigious competition. As a winner, he finally started getting recognition for he talent. He performed in a couple Met performances. He won an internship to the Summer Opera program in Sante Fe, New Mexico, something analygous to Summer Stock for opera singers. Agents were starting to take notice of him. He won a position this year as an ensemble member of the Lyric Opera of Chicago and started in the cast in April of this year. As an ensemble member with a regular salary, he was finally able to make a living solely from pursuing his passion and also given regular opportunity to audition for larger roles in Opera performances.
Unfortunately, Ryan was diagnosed with stomach cancer in late March of this year and started going through treatment while in Chicago. Initial accounts were encouraging. Burkitt's Lymphona is considered one of the more treatable forms of cancer and he was expected to recover quickly and be back to singing at the Opera. He went through 2 rounds of chemo and was back at home recuperating and started attending rehearsals again. Then, he got an infection and had to return to the hospital since his immune system was so compromised from the chemo. He did not end up leaving.... At first, I would talk to him pretty regularly on the phone. And then, the calls became less frequent. Me and his best friend discussed going to visit him. We were not able to go the same week, so he and some other friends went up one weekend and I went up the next. I am not really sure what I expected when I got there but I have to say that I was startled when I first saw him in the hospital.
Honestly, I could have walked by him 5 times and not known it was him if he hadn't opened his mouth! Ryan had been working out and losing weight before he went off to Chicago but he had probable lost another 50 pounds since then. Also, apparently, an affect of chemotherapy can be the darkening of skin because he was probably 4 shades darker than he used to be. Also, the shape of his face and facial features had totally changed. He had very little soft tissue on his face so his nose was even shaped differently. His teeth had an orangish hue from the medecine he had been taking. It was startling. But he was the same Ryan. I sat there with him and his family all day. He dosed in and out and we watched the documentary from his MET competition. To see and hear him perform was amazing! It was just beautiful! Such a gift! And to be watching it in him hotel room was particularly poignant. We all teared up..... It was hard to know what to do other than just be there. His parents were upset by the latest discussions with the doctors which seemed to not give them much hope. They had started trying to sneak herbal therapies into his room. A friend from NY had sent a reiki therapist over to do a treatment on him. I came back to see him the next morning on my way to the airport.
Three days later, on my birthday, I heard that the doctors had reported that his tumor has shrunk 40% so they were encouraged and were going to try to boost up his immune system for another round of chemo. It never happened. Ryan died a few weeks later. It was awful...... so much promise unrealized..... so young, only 32......
With all these tragedies happening amongst my peers, it has really gotten me thinking about my age. For me, there is not really anyone around generationally older than my parents. Death is a much closer reality for me now after this year. I reflect on what I have accomplished in my life and I don't really have regrets. I have had some great experiences, wonderful friends and learned a lot from the challenges I have worked through. I have not yet found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with and have children with but I understand that this is something that cannot be rushed. I don't particularly feel anxious about it personally. But what I am starting to comtemplate is that I really want to give my parents the experience of seeing me married and meeting their first grandchild. I know two friends whose mothers died right before they gave birth to their first child. So it is not for me that I feel anxious, but for my parents. However, my parents are not the kind to pressure me about these types of things and I know that they would not want me to rush into something that was not fulfilling for them. So, I will just concentrate in enjoying all my moments, my experiences with the people I love, searching for other fulfilling connections with new people and not taking any of it for granted!
Showing posts with label health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label health. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
I am not a hypochondriac....
Some odd stuff has been happening to me health-wise lately....
First, around the end of June/beginning of July, I started experiencing some extreme bloating --- I mean, EXTREME. It didn't really respond to regular antacids or OTC medicine like Prilosec. Let me elaborate a little more on what this was like. I was so uncomfortable that I had trouble sitting up straight. My posture was suffering, I had to adjust the seat in my car because I was started to have lower back pain. Sometimes I would feel slightly better but didn't want to eat much because when I did, I felt even more full and bloated. I was starting to think that something was seriously wrong with me. Now, I am not one to have a fragile digestive system. I have traveled around the world and eaten many things in many places with little consequence but there is nothing more humbling than having prolonged gastro-intestinal distress. It just saps the energy out of you.
Finally, I decided to go to my doctor. I have had a bit of trouble finding a good internal medicine doctor here. A couple years ago I went to a female doctor that was highly recommended and conveniently located and on my first visit she told me that this was my annual exam just to get a baseline and if I had any other particular issues that I wanted to discuss I would have to come back for another appt! Needless to say, that rubbed me the wrong way and I never went back. So last year, I asked my GYN to recommend someone and she recommended another female doctor who was part of a popular practice. I had gone to her once last year for an annual exam so I made an appt to go see her to figure out what was wrong with me this time. The visit was not fulfilling or comforting at all. I told her everything that was going on -- I was practically in tears --- and she basically asked me some questions, pressed on my stomach and asked if I had any sharp pain. Then she prescribed a medication for acid reflux, told me to take something for gas if I needed it and said to let her know in TWO WEEKS if I wasn't feeling better. Well, I left there feeling pretty upset. But, I figured that if she didn't think that this was anything life-threatening that I would go ahead and try some other things to try to improve my situation in addition to what she prescribed me. I did, with a combination of the medicine she prescribed, from Gas-X, and some probiotics that I started taking too, start feeling better later that day. But I am not really any closer to understanding why it happened in the first place. In my doctor's defense, she did give me about 2 weeks of free samples of the medicine she prescribed, which ended up to be about $50 worth, given my insurance coverage...
Then.....
A few days ago, I woke up in the morning with a crick in my neck, like I slept wrong. A day or so later it was still sore. Then, the next day the muscle soreness turned to more of a sharp stiff pain. And then, the next morning, my throat started feeling weird. By about mid day, I started to feel like there was a lump in the back of my throat, literally. I was feeling very uncomfortable and worn out. I considered going to the doctor again, although not very excited about it. That night I came home and washed my hair and took some Advil (previously, I had been taking Aleve) and I almost immediately I started feeling better. It was all really strange but after about 12 hours of taking Advil, I was almost completely back to normal. Again, really odd.
So, I still don't know why either of these things happened. I am normally pretty boring and regular from a health perspective and pay a lot of attention to my body. Anytime anything is out of wack, I notice it. I am not completely sure what it was trying to tell me with these two things but I decided that maybe I need to rid myself of some toxins or something. So I started an herbal cleanse -- it can't hurt and I have already felt a difference in my sleep.
First, around the end of June/beginning of July, I started experiencing some extreme bloating --- I mean, EXTREME. It didn't really respond to regular antacids or OTC medicine like Prilosec. Let me elaborate a little more on what this was like. I was so uncomfortable that I had trouble sitting up straight. My posture was suffering, I had to adjust the seat in my car because I was started to have lower back pain. Sometimes I would feel slightly better but didn't want to eat much because when I did, I felt even more full and bloated. I was starting to think that something was seriously wrong with me. Now, I am not one to have a fragile digestive system. I have traveled around the world and eaten many things in many places with little consequence but there is nothing more humbling than having prolonged gastro-intestinal distress. It just saps the energy out of you.
Finally, I decided to go to my doctor. I have had a bit of trouble finding a good internal medicine doctor here. A couple years ago I went to a female doctor that was highly recommended and conveniently located and on my first visit she told me that this was my annual exam just to get a baseline and if I had any other particular issues that I wanted to discuss I would have to come back for another appt! Needless to say, that rubbed me the wrong way and I never went back. So last year, I asked my GYN to recommend someone and she recommended another female doctor who was part of a popular practice. I had gone to her once last year for an annual exam so I made an appt to go see her to figure out what was wrong with me this time. The visit was not fulfilling or comforting at all. I told her everything that was going on -- I was practically in tears --- and she basically asked me some questions, pressed on my stomach and asked if I had any sharp pain. Then she prescribed a medication for acid reflux, told me to take something for gas if I needed it and said to let her know in TWO WEEKS if I wasn't feeling better. Well, I left there feeling pretty upset. But, I figured that if she didn't think that this was anything life-threatening that I would go ahead and try some other things to try to improve my situation in addition to what she prescribed me. I did, with a combination of the medicine she prescribed, from Gas-X, and some probiotics that I started taking too, start feeling better later that day. But I am not really any closer to understanding why it happened in the first place. In my doctor's defense, she did give me about 2 weeks of free samples of the medicine she prescribed, which ended up to be about $50 worth, given my insurance coverage...
Then.....
A few days ago, I woke up in the morning with a crick in my neck, like I slept wrong. A day or so later it was still sore. Then, the next day the muscle soreness turned to more of a sharp stiff pain. And then, the next morning, my throat started feeling weird. By about mid day, I started to feel like there was a lump in the back of my throat, literally. I was feeling very uncomfortable and worn out. I considered going to the doctor again, although not very excited about it. That night I came home and washed my hair and took some Advil (previously, I had been taking Aleve) and I almost immediately I started feeling better. It was all really strange but after about 12 hours of taking Advil, I was almost completely back to normal. Again, really odd.
So, I still don't know why either of these things happened. I am normally pretty boring and regular from a health perspective and pay a lot of attention to my body. Anytime anything is out of wack, I notice it. I am not completely sure what it was trying to tell me with these two things but I decided that maybe I need to rid myself of some toxins or something. So I started an herbal cleanse -- it can't hurt and I have already felt a difference in my sleep.
Monday, June 30, 2008
A pore rebellion :-(
So..... I feel like I am in high school.... Actually, this is different from high school because I was sort of blind-sided....
Here is the back story --- High blood pressure runs in my family on my father's side and typically, the hereditary effect on blood pressure manifests itself in the lower to mid 30's. So, it is manifesting itself in me in the past year or so.... One of the other things that is thought to have an additional effect on blood pressure in women is birth control pills (the majority of them) because the estrogen in them is thought to raise BP. Therefore, many woman who have high blood pressure, are encouraged to pursue birth control options that are progesterone-only based. There are a number of them, ranging from pills to injections to IUDs. At any rate, while I was deciding on what I wanted to do, I went off birth control for a little while.
So I vaguely remembered stated that one of the benefits of birth control pills was the clearing up of acne and better skin. But I never really put much creedance in it. Well, I do now....
About 2 weeks after I stopped taking the pills, I began to notice a few pimples -- but I sort of chalked it up to the warm summer weather. Now I know, it is NOT the weather.....
And last week, I started to develop one of the biggest nastiest pimple that I have ever had. I am talking a big nasty pustule! And it was not pretty. Let's just put it this way..... I wore a band-aid on my face yesterday because that looked better than the alternative. Attempts to drain it didn't work. I had to take a trip to the drug store and dig deep through the acne medicine to find stuff to use on it. I the end, I ended up purchasing 3 different kinds of medicine with 3 different active ingredients. This is serious business!
So I have begun a multi-staged regimen to get rid of this sucker. Trying to get rid of anything huge before the weekend starts and I start going to these cookouts. So far, I have seen some good results, thank god! The difference between how it looked yesterday morning and this morning is dramatic. Today it is flat and just slightly pink, although still fairly large in circumference but I decided to leave the band-aid off today to let it get some air. A friend at work told me I was better off with the band-aid on..... :-(
I hope it won't cause any permanent scars.....
Here is the back story --- High blood pressure runs in my family on my father's side and typically, the hereditary effect on blood pressure manifests itself in the lower to mid 30's. So, it is manifesting itself in me in the past year or so.... One of the other things that is thought to have an additional effect on blood pressure in women is birth control pills (the majority of them) because the estrogen in them is thought to raise BP. Therefore, many woman who have high blood pressure, are encouraged to pursue birth control options that are progesterone-only based. There are a number of them, ranging from pills to injections to IUDs. At any rate, while I was deciding on what I wanted to do, I went off birth control for a little while.
So I vaguely remembered stated that one of the benefits of birth control pills was the clearing up of acne and better skin. But I never really put much creedance in it. Well, I do now....
About 2 weeks after I stopped taking the pills, I began to notice a few pimples -- but I sort of chalked it up to the warm summer weather. Now I know, it is NOT the weather.....
And last week, I started to develop one of the biggest nastiest pimple that I have ever had. I am talking a big nasty pustule! And it was not pretty. Let's just put it this way..... I wore a band-aid on my face yesterday because that looked better than the alternative. Attempts to drain it didn't work. I had to take a trip to the drug store and dig deep through the acne medicine to find stuff to use on it. I the end, I ended up purchasing 3 different kinds of medicine with 3 different active ingredients. This is serious business!
So I have begun a multi-staged regimen to get rid of this sucker. Trying to get rid of anything huge before the weekend starts and I start going to these cookouts. So far, I have seen some good results, thank god! The difference between how it looked yesterday morning and this morning is dramatic. Today it is flat and just slightly pink, although still fairly large in circumference but I decided to leave the band-aid off today to let it get some air. A friend at work told me I was better off with the band-aid on..... :-(
I hope it won't cause any permanent scars.....
Saturday, April 05, 2008
Please send good thoughts....
I was all set for a week of cheerful and pithy blog posts when I got some news that totally threw me for a loop.....
A good friend of mine recently went to New York for a couple months to perform before moving to Chicago to participate in a well renowned training program. He is a singer who's career is just now getting off the ground and I was so proud and happy that his dreams were starting to come true.
Monday, he called me with some earth-shattering news. A couple months ago he had suffered a bout of food poisoning (he thought) that he had never completely recovered from. Once he got up to New York and was covered by health insurance, he went to a doctor to check it out. She thought it might be gall stones or something and put him on a restrictive diet. Then a week or so later, he was feeling such intense pain that he went to the hospital and ended up being hospitalized for a couple days. At that point, he was told that he had gotten an infection from the food poisoning and it was causing intestinal swelling. After he got out he was to go for a follow up CT scan to double check everything.
Well, at his follow up scan, he was told that he had stomach cancer....... He has a biopsy scheduled for this week and that will give a better idea of what exactly he is dealing with but it was quite a blow! I did a little research online on stomach cancer and in some cases it can be beatable so I remain optimistic. He is such a nice guy and has worked so hard to get where he is in his career and things were really taking off for him, it just breaks my heart that it all could be threatened by this predicament.
A good friend of mine recently went to New York for a couple months to perform before moving to Chicago to participate in a well renowned training program. He is a singer who's career is just now getting off the ground and I was so proud and happy that his dreams were starting to come true.
Monday, he called me with some earth-shattering news. A couple months ago he had suffered a bout of food poisoning (he thought) that he had never completely recovered from. Once he got up to New York and was covered by health insurance, he went to a doctor to check it out. She thought it might be gall stones or something and put him on a restrictive diet. Then a week or so later, he was feeling such intense pain that he went to the hospital and ended up being hospitalized for a couple days. At that point, he was told that he had gotten an infection from the food poisoning and it was causing intestinal swelling. After he got out he was to go for a follow up CT scan to double check everything.
Well, at his follow up scan, he was told that he had stomach cancer....... He has a biopsy scheduled for this week and that will give a better idea of what exactly he is dealing with but it was quite a blow! I did a little research online on stomach cancer and in some cases it can be beatable so I remain optimistic. He is such a nice guy and has worked so hard to get where he is in his career and things were really taking off for him, it just breaks my heart that it all could be threatened by this predicament.
So please, please send all the good healing thoughts and prayers you have his way. I hold out hope that he can beat this thing and be back on track towards his dream!
Picture from a recent performance
Picture from a recent performanceWednesday, March 05, 2008
I can't get sick on my last week of freedom!
On Monday, I started feeling a little tickle in my throat and I knew what that meant! I can't get sick the week before I start my new job!!
One good thing about being unemployed is that you are not exposed to other peoples germs all the time and I managed to stay healthy for most of the entire 5 months! But on Monday, I started to feel the first hint of sickness.
So I went into my stay healthy regimen. I took my vitamin and also this Brazilian version of Airborne that I got when I was down there. I aired out the house. I drank Danactive and Kombucha, both of which have lots of active cultures, the natural bacteria that occurs in your digestive tract and helps boost your immune system and I immediately went home and brushed my teeth and changed my sheets. I also drank lots of liquids.
It seems to work because I got better and averted an immune system melt-down! Yay!
One good thing about being unemployed is that you are not exposed to other peoples germs all the time and I managed to stay healthy for most of the entire 5 months! But on Monday, I started to feel the first hint of sickness.
So I went into my stay healthy regimen. I took my vitamin and also this Brazilian version of Airborne that I got when I was down there. I aired out the house. I drank Danactive and Kombucha, both of which have lots of active cultures, the natural bacteria that occurs in your digestive tract and helps boost your immune system and I immediately went home and brushed my teeth and changed my sheets. I also drank lots of liquids.
It seems to work because I got better and averted an immune system melt-down! Yay!
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Taking care of the whole person - A New Years Resolution follow up
When I wrote about my new years resolutions earlier this year, number two was about "rededicating myself to my health and physical and emotional well-being." One thing that I didn't really grasp when I was writing this was how integral taking care of my spiritual well-being would be in actualizing this resolution.
I refrain from talking about my religious beliefs here on my blog because I think of spirtuality as a very personal journey. But I am going to now because I believe that it is a key reason for the changes that are happening in my life these days. Now I am not saying that these things are a direct result of me reevaluating my spiritual path, but likely more so because I am in a better mindset to receive them. And the thing was, I had everything i needed to take advantage of these resources for months now, just wasn't yet in the right place to take advantage of them. Being unemployed for 4 months can be compelling motivation!
I started attending this center at the urging of my best friend P (you may remember her from previous posts). She has actually been attending one in her city and sent me info about one in my area months ago. She actually sent it twice because I lost the email the first time. So I started going about a month ago.
As I said, I think of spirituality as a personal journey and it has been a while since I attended any organized religious gathering. But I have been finding that it is nice to recharge my spiritual batteries in a comforting welcoming environment of like-minded positive people. And it has helped me keep a positive mindset while going through some tough professional times.
There is a tenet that is common to just about every world religion. It appears in the religious texts of Christianity, Buddhism, Confusianism, Islam, Hinduism, Judaism and even Ancient Egyptian and Yoruba. It is most commonly known in modern times as "The Golden Rule" --- Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
It is a tenet that I have always tried to live my life by. You give what you get. If you extend this concept further it can prescribe a way of thinking, recently popularized by the book and movie "The Secret." Referred to as "the law of attraction," otherwise known as the power of popular thinking, it is the concept that visualization and a truly positive attitude about your life can "attract" exactly what you seek.
So I figured that it was worth a try. Negativity and insecurity has never really helped anything. I figured I could gain some peace of mind from trying to apply this in my life, especially now. Trying times can be the best times to make positive changes in your life.
I refrain from talking about my religious beliefs here on my blog because I think of spirtuality as a very personal journey. But I am going to now because I believe that it is a key reason for the changes that are happening in my life these days. Now I am not saying that these things are a direct result of me reevaluating my spiritual path, but likely more so because I am in a better mindset to receive them. And the thing was, I had everything i needed to take advantage of these resources for months now, just wasn't yet in the right place to take advantage of them. Being unemployed for 4 months can be compelling motivation!
I started attending this center at the urging of my best friend P (you may remember her from previous posts). She has actually been attending one in her city and sent me info about one in my area months ago. She actually sent it twice because I lost the email the first time. So I started going about a month ago.
As I said, I think of spirituality as a personal journey and it has been a while since I attended any organized religious gathering. But I have been finding that it is nice to recharge my spiritual batteries in a comforting welcoming environment of like-minded positive people. And it has helped me keep a positive mindset while going through some tough professional times.
There is a tenet that is common to just about every world religion. It appears in the religious texts of Christianity, Buddhism, Confusianism, Islam, Hinduism, Judaism and even Ancient Egyptian and Yoruba. It is most commonly known in modern times as "The Golden Rule" --- Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
It is a tenet that I have always tried to live my life by. You give what you get. If you extend this concept further it can prescribe a way of thinking, recently popularized by the book and movie "The Secret." Referred to as "the law of attraction," otherwise known as the power of popular thinking, it is the concept that visualization and a truly positive attitude about your life can "attract" exactly what you seek.
So I figured that it was worth a try. Negativity and insecurity has never really helped anything. I figured I could gain some peace of mind from trying to apply this in my life, especially now. Trying times can be the best times to make positive changes in your life.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
So it's official......
Americans are shrinking!
Great! Just what I need. It is hard enough given that all the shorties want tall men too! Now, there are fewer of them!
So, apparently the average height in the US is not 5'10" :-I That is 1 inch taller than I am barefoot! And below my low end height preference of 6'0". Sigh......
What is a tall girl to do???
Apparently, go to Holland! In Holland, the average height is 6'1". Hey, I like cheese and windmills and.... well, there is Amsterdam.... And people are taller in Denmark too at 6' even.
But this is rather depressing. We are now #3 in height amongst industrialized nations. And, they say that height is the single most definitive indicator of success across societies. Tall people are more successful, are more likely to be elected into public office..... The Romans were one of the tallest civilizations when they ruled the Western world. When George Washington, at 6'2", was elected president, Americans were the tallest people in the world and held the title for 200 years. But in my lifetime, we have lost that title.
So, some of the key indicators that can have an effect on height are 1) overall health, especially pre-natal and as children and 2) overeating at a young age which can interfere with the production of key growth hormones. This taps into 2 major issues that are plaguing our society today: Health insurance and the lack of universal health care in this country and the unhealthy eating habits of a fast food nation.
So will this be the undoing of the domination of the US in the world economy? Will we all be looking to Holland with envy as the country rises in power with an army of 6'5"+ leaders at the helm? I doubt it but....... maybe its time to make a trip to Amsterdam and Copenhagen! ;-)
Great! Just what I need. It is hard enough given that all the shorties want tall men too! Now, there are fewer of them!
So, apparently the average height in the US is not 5'10" :-I That is 1 inch taller than I am barefoot! And below my low end height preference of 6'0". Sigh......
What is a tall girl to do???
Apparently, go to Holland! In Holland, the average height is 6'1". Hey, I like cheese and windmills and.... well, there is Amsterdam.... And people are taller in Denmark too at 6' even.
But this is rather depressing. We are now #3 in height amongst industrialized nations. And, they say that height is the single most definitive indicator of success across societies. Tall people are more successful, are more likely to be elected into public office..... The Romans were one of the tallest civilizations when they ruled the Western world. When George Washington, at 6'2", was elected president, Americans were the tallest people in the world and held the title for 200 years. But in my lifetime, we have lost that title.
So, some of the key indicators that can have an effect on height are 1) overall health, especially pre-natal and as children and 2) overeating at a young age which can interfere with the production of key growth hormones. This taps into 2 major issues that are plaguing our society today: Health insurance and the lack of universal health care in this country and the unhealthy eating habits of a fast food nation.
So will this be the undoing of the domination of the US in the world economy? Will we all be looking to Holland with envy as the country rises in power with an army of 6'5"+ leaders at the helm? I doubt it but....... maybe its time to make a trip to Amsterdam and Copenhagen! ;-)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
