Forget six degrees!

So when I was working at my previous company, I met this guy in a training class who worked 2 floors below me and we became fast friends. There were only so many black folks at my level in the company and our groups worked on similar projects so we just sort of bonded and had lots of things to comiserate about. A self proclaimed techie, he became my technology consultant for all the electronic, computer and cellular purchases I was considering, as well as my A/V go to guy when I couldn't figure out the bext way to hook up my tv, dvr, dvd player and reciever (and helped me set everything back up again when I moved......and moved again....) A totally platonic relationship, he has also become my sounding board and a good source of advice while navigating the dating world and explaining to me all the crazy, stupid, illogical things that guys do!

So about 2 months after we met, we were talking and I said something about my hometown. He said his wife was from there too. Well, not only were we from the same place, we were in high school together! Talk about ironic! I didn't even know we were in the same city. Now, she was a couple years older than me so we were not close but we also grew up about a 1/2 mile from each other.

Over the years there have been a number of other coincidences like this, although never quite as surprising.... I became good friends with someone at my new job and turns out she takes her kids to the same daycare as he and his wife that their kids . Another guy at my new company is a frat chapter brother...... But a couple weeks ago, we got the kicker....

I sent an email out to my family and friends about some article in the news about my company. My mom wrote me back and said "who is _____ _____? Ask him if he had a relative that went to unnamed HBCU in the 60's." So he has a very distinctive name and he is named after his father so I had a feeling that he had to be talking about my friend's father. And lo and behold, my mother and his father went to college together! They were in the band together and both played clarinet! They were one year apart (although they graduated the smae year because my mom graduated early) and both went into education --- his dad as an elementary school principal and my mom in deaf education.

Talk about irony! My friend is the son of my mother's college classmate and husband of one of my high school classmates. And we met randomly because we worked at the same company. What a small world! So forget six degrees of separation, I would say that between college educated black folks it is more like 1-3degrees, tops!

My friend is a ROCKSTAR!

Or rather an IronMaiden! ;-)... I have a good friend from undergrad who been dabbling in marathons and trialthons for the past few years. In fact, she participated in a half Ironman a few yers ago when she was living in Hawaii.

Well, last weekend, she competed in and completed her first (and maybe her last) full IRONMAN!!!

For those of your who don't know, an Ironman is --- it is a 2.4 mi. swim • 112 mi. bike • 26.2 mi. run. So you swim across a lake, then ride your bike from like one city to another and then run a marathon! Whew! I am tired just typing it!

The lake was actually so choppy that they gave the participants, at the last minutes, the option to skip the swim portion and just do a duathalon but she elected to still do the swim. And, she did it! She completed her swim in 1 hour and 30 minutes, her bike ride in 7 hours and 28 minutes and the run in 4 hours and 42 minutes for a total of 13 hours and 53 minutes!!

This is so far out of my realm of conception! I am totally in awe! Congratulations, girl! You are amazing!

Answers to your questions......

Thanks to those of you who submitted questions for me to answer! Some of them have really gotten me thinking!.... So here we go.....


From Naadii Salaam - do you consider yourself to be "loc'd for life" or do you foresee yourself cutting your locs at some point?

So I have always said that I would keep my locks until I decided that I liked how I look with a night cute short greying afro. So what does that really mean? When, the women in my family don't really grey very early and I don't really like myself with short hair. So, maybe in about 30 years I will consider it. They are such a natural, easy, and positive part of my life that I have not reason to think about getting rid of them. I have many, many moons to go before I consider cutting off my locks completely.


From QueenLi - What's your favorite place to visit? My favorite place to visit.... Hmmm, well I think that would have to be South Africa. I lived there for 2 months while I was in grad school and it was great! I was mostly in Johannesburg but we traveled around a lot. Then thing that struck me the most is how easy it was to get integrated into society there and how "american-like" it seemed. It almost the opposite feeling that I got when I went to India or how I expect black people feel when in Japan or China. Everything seemed sort of familiar, even tho I didn't speak Zulu or Africaans, most people spoke English and there were black people everywhere. We rented a little stick-shift Ford Escort hatchback and drove around the country -- Guateng Province, Sun City, went on safari, drove to the east coast to St. Lucia and then down to Durban, and also flew over to Cape Town. It was a great time, met some great people and I can't wait to go back!

Do you like movies?{favorite film?} Yep, I like movies, although I haven't really seen many lately. I like movies with a twist, that keep you guessing and also some science fiction. Favorites movies include The Usual Suspects, Sixth Sense, The Lord Of the Rings Trilogy, Star Wars trilogy (the first, or rather the last three -- or to clarify, NOT the newer ones!), Monsoon Wedding (an Indian film by Mira Nair that I probably appreciate much more after being to India)


From Cashana - Do you find it difficult to style your hair at its current length? What is your favorite way to wear your hair? I don't really have any difficulty with my hair but I am not a big, change your hair all the time person. I have come across a few key styles that are tried and true and work well for me so I alternate between those.


Most of the time I just wear my hair down, either straight or wavy (mostly wavy)




Or pulled back in a ponytail (tied back with itself or with a lovely hair-tie)



Occasionally, I will put it up in a bun (but not all that often because it gets heavy)


And then for special occasions, the curly bun!



When it was shorter I used to set it on flexible curling rods for a Caruso-like look but I can't do that anymore. But, I find that I have a lot of flexibility when I want it! But my favorite way is down and wavy, which I get by braiding my hair after I wash it and letting it dry (for hours!) and then taking it out when dry.


From Naturally Sophia - Name your favorite possesion in your home. And why is it your favorite? So this is a bit of a tough one.... I have had to give this one a lot of thought.... First, hopefully without sounding too shallow, I would say my bed. I bought my bedframe in 1995 after i "lost" my box spring in a move (that is a whole other story..) and I needed to get a bedframe that did not require a boxspring to be comfortable. So, I went to one of my favorite stores, Ikea, and found this great sturdy black asian-inspired bedframe that used wooden slats for support. Well, this was the perfect fit for my thrift store mattress and I have had it, and the mattress ever since. I have never had any back problems or trouble sleeping on it and with my "t-shirt" sheets, it is a wonderful cozy haven that puts me right to sleep everytime.


Second (I know, I am cheating) is the picture of my grandmother that I have in my room. I think she took the picture about 8-10 months before she died suddenly of a heart attack. She was the only grandmother I ever knew and I was her only grandchild. She and my grandfather lived about 7 minutes away from me all the years I was growing up and even for a short time, I would spend mornings with her and she would take me to elementary school. My grandmother was the quintessential caregiver with an infectious spirit and a love for cooking that I inherited. I think of her often, I wish that she could share in the moments in my life that have happened since she died. I wish she could see my hair now.... I was just 1 1/2 years in with my locks when she died and she didnt really get it but I know that she would now. I think one of the most telling things about my grandmother and her spirit is that when she died, at 82, she was taking computer classes and learning to swim! :-)


From Brunsli - How about showing pictures from when you first started locking your hair? I am not sure if I have any! If I do, I know that they are not digital so I will have to "digitize" them. Let me see what I can dig up!


Other things about me.....


I used to think it was funny when as a kid I noticed that they mom cried when she was happy. But ever since "Snoopy Come Home" I do it too! And it has gotten worse over time. (Damn those hormones!) In fact, truth be told, I am a sentimental, nostalgic, empathetic softie. (Shhhh! don't tell anyone!) The TV show that really gets me going now is Extreme Makeover Home Edition. That show just has me bawling every time! Like the ugly snotting, stopped up kind of bawling.... I guess I am just always so happy for these people and happy to see people who really deserve it get something to make their life better. Ugh!.....


I am also a lover of hip hop, ever since I got those Public Enemy, LL COol J and Beastie Boys tapes back in Jr high/high school. And I still am, despite that crap that is being passed off as hip hop these days. If I need to classify it, I would say I am more like an East Coast hip hop head, a lover of A Tribe called Quest and De La, a fan of the poetic rapper like Common or even Jay-Z. Every once in a while there is a light that shines through this morass of gangsta thugism that passes for music these days, like Lupe Fiasco, but for the most part I can't stand listening to the radio these days.... Good thing I have a short commute!

Back in business!

So, since I can't be without a computer for long, I went out this weekend to search for a replacement for my poor defunct laptop... Given my past experience, I am now a little soured on Dell but a conversation with a co-worker had me thinking about HP. He was talking about what great customer experience he has gotten with them, even when something happened just a week before his warranty expired so I thought that I should look into them. I knew that HP's Pavillion line was one of the first to offer a 17" widescreen monitor on a laptop and this was years ago so I figured that they had by now developed a solid performing machine.



Once I started to see what was out there, I also consulted my good tech guru friend and talked about what features I could do without --- do I really need a TV tuner or Windows Media Center, do I really need a 17" screen, etc.

So Saturday I was out buying a baby shower gift and I decided to do to BestBuy and Costco, (my friend suggested Costco first) and I saw an HP Pavillion 15.4" laptop that looked really nice (and at a good price.) Also, it was sitting next to a Toshiba 17" machine which was good because I got to compare the two sized machines side by side. And I decided that the difference wasn't worth the extra $300 in price nor did I want the extra weight. My friend also checked his Passport savings boo and found out that the HP would be on sale in August for $150 off.

So, here is one of the really cool things about buying electronics from Costco. They have a 90 day, no questions asked return policy with no restocking fee. So, if you just decide you dont like it after using it for a little while, they will take it back. They also augment the warranty and provide their own technical support line. Cool, huh? And when I talked to the customer service people they told me that, if I brought my reciept back in August with the coupon, they would give me my $150!

I love Costco......and my new computer! :-)

Tagged.....And needing your help!

So I wondered if it would happen.... and it did.... I've been tagged.

However, given the fact that everyone else I know has already been tagged and there has been a twist on tagging known as the interview going on, I thougt I would do something similar. But I would like to ask you all out there to submit questions for me to answer.....

So put on your thinking caps, warm up those fingers and get to asking!

I am an open book (well, sort of)!

:-(

My computer is a brick!

This morning when i was taking it upstairs to print from my printer it just shut off! :-O Initially, I thought it was the battery so I went and got a power supply but when i plugged it in.......still no lights! Wahhhhhhh! :-( I have had this laptop for 2 1/2 years. Of course now, when I look it up on Google I see that a lot of Dell Laptops of my model have conked out because of motherboards that give out. Of course, this doesnt really help me now!

Luckily, all my photos and music are saved on my external harddrive. I learned to do this after my last laptop, again a Dell, died when the hard drive (and possible the processor too) went bad. Hmmm, notice a trend here.....

This is actually my 3rd laptop since 2000. The first, a Sony, was stolen in India. Then the first Dell died after 3 years and now this one.

So the bad news is I have to shop for a new laptop and the good news is that I get to shop for a new laptop! I am a bit of a techno-geek so any excuse to upgrade I will take. It is just frustrating tho. It looks like I will be able to use my old hard drive as an external one so that might not be too bad. I will have to reload a bunch of programs. But I will get more RAM and a DVD burner!

So I guess it is not all bad!.....

So it's official......

Americans are shrinking!

Great! Just what I need. It is hard enough given that all the shorties want tall men too! Now, there are fewer of them!

So, apparently the average height in the US is not 5'10" :-I That is 1 inch taller than I am barefoot! And below my low end height preference of 6'0". Sigh......

What is a tall girl to do???

Apparently, go to Holland! In Holland, the average height is 6'1". Hey, I like cheese and windmills and.... well, there is Amsterdam.... And people are taller in Denmark too at 6' even.

But this is rather depressing. We are now #3 in height amongst industrialized nations. And, they say that height is the single most definitive indicator of success across societies. Tall people are more successful, are more likely to be elected into public office..... The Romans were one of the tallest civilizations when they ruled the Western world. When George Washington, at 6'2", was elected president, Americans were the tallest people in the world and held the title for 200 years. But in my lifetime, we have lost that title.

So, some of the key indicators that can have an effect on height are 1) overall health, especially pre-natal and as children and 2) overeating at a young age which can interfere with the production of key growth hormones. This taps into 2 major issues that are plaguing our society today: Health insurance and the lack of universal health care in this country and the unhealthy eating habits of a fast food nation.

So will this be the undoing of the domination of the US in the world economy? Will we all be looking to Holland with envy as the country rises in power with an army of 6'5"+ leaders at the helm? I doubt it but....... maybe its time to make a trip to Amsterdam and Copenhagen! ;-)

Before and after pics

Okay so you asked for before and after pictures of my little yard project. Unfortunately, I did not take a specific before picture but I was able to find one I had taken a while ago. You can't see the path all that well but I think you get the general idea......

And here are the after pictures...... What do you think?

I think it is definitely an improvement. I am thinking of putting solar lights along it as well since it gets very dark back there at night.

Sometimes ignorance is bliss!

So I decided to go to my neighborhood's monthly security meeting this month. I have had some issues with folks cutting across my proprty at night to jump the fence to get to the parking lot next door and since the association does partols, I want to be the squeaky wheel so I stay on their radar.

Well, now, I almost feel less safe than I did before! I mean I live in the city so I know that stuff happens but now that I hear all the incidents, I feel a little more nervous when I go walk to dog. I don't want to be insensitive but at least one incident could have been avoided. Picture this....

you and your spouse are walking home one night from a movie in a residential neighborhood....

you notice a car pacing you as you walk along the street......

the car pulls past you and then stops......

Do you:

1) turn and walk the other way
2) stop and walk up to the door of one of the houses you are passing and knock on the door
3) take out your cellphone and call 911 or someone or
4) keep walking?

What would you do?

So maybe chivalry is not quite dead......

but work accountibility, response time and customer service might be!


This weekend I embarked on a "little" yard project. Well, I thought it was going to be a little smaller than it is turning out to be. I came up with this great idea to turn this empty area along the side of my garage into a pebble walkway. I figureed it would be a low maintenance way to maintain the space which just seemed to grow weeds and collect leaves. So I went out and bought some stuff to kill the plants and the landscaping liner fabric to keep the sun out but let water pass through and then I bought a few bags of river pebbles to see how it would look.


It seemed to look nice so I decided to keep going..... but when I actually looked at the bag and figured my square footage, it looked like I would need.......drumroll, please..... about 65 bags of pebbles to fill the space!!! Now, each of these bags weighs about 45 lbs each! (are you starting to put this all together here?)


So, over 3 trips to the Home Depot, I ended up purchasing and moving around almost 3000 lbs of pebbles!! That is 1 1/2 tons! Good thing I have been working out!


And I really needed my strength too because, of the 3 trips I took, I only got help from Home Depot personnel to move the bags and load them into my care ONCE! (for only 24 of the bags.) The other two times, the cashiers paged for loading help and NOONE came! I got tired of waiting so I just did it myself. (Sigh, story of my life......) Good thing strangers saw the absurdity of this and decided to help me. The first time this woman, who was standing by me, volunteered her boyfriend to help me load my car. The last time, this guy in a convertible who was driving up to the store saw me and asked me to wait until her parked his car so he could help me! Thank you! So it seems chivalry is not completely dead....


But I am thinking of writing to Home Depot and giving them a piece of my mind!


But my walkway is looking pretty nice!

My new favorite white person!

Alright, I already liked him because of his work on Project RED. For information see my previous post from and go get your Project RED t-shirt!) but now, I think I LOVE him! (i am exaggerating a bit but you get the idea....)

I really have to give Bono his props. He really is truly dedicated to helping the lives of people in Africa. And, in his latest endeavor, he has become to guest editor for Vanity Fair for the July issue which is dedicated ENTIRELY to the challenges and what can be done to improve the future of the the African continent.
There are also 20 different celebrity covers, shot by Annie Leibowitz, pairing different celebrities and thought leaders. Here are some of my favorites!


So go to the newstand and pick up a copy or two! And if there is a particular cover you want, you purchase a copy online here. Here is a listing of the table of contents for the edition:

Vanity Fair Special Issue: Africa

84 GENERATION KENYA
After decades of one-party rule, 90s Nairobi was a nonstop hustle, steeped in booze and corruption. No one was more surprised than Binyavanga Wainaina when Kenya began to trust itself.

96 THE TUTU CONNECTION
Archbishop Desmond Tutu won the Nobel Peace Prize for opposing apartheid in South Africa. Talking with Brad Pitt, he explains why the fight for equality must go global. Photographs by Annie Leibovitz.

104 AT THE DESERT'S EDGE
Tunisia may top the list of Africa's success stories. Yet, as Christopher Hitchens discovers, five years after a devastating al-Qaeda attack, the threat of Islamic extremism still lingers in the air.
126 ENTER CHINA, THE GIANT
China's desperate oil grab is helping to fuel some of Africa's most vicious conflicts, including Darfur. Sebastian Junger follows the money, the guns, and the cycle of oppression. Photographs by Teun Voeten.

140 JEFFREY SACHS'S $200 BILLION DREAM
Extreme poverty can be eradicated, insists superstar economist Jeffrey Sachs—all it takes is determination, focus, and, well, money. In Uganda and Kenya, Nina Munk gets a tour of his ultimate battleground. Photographs by Guillaume Bonn.

156 THE LAZARUS EFFECT
aids is no longer a death sentence, thanks to miracle drugs. But millions still can't afford them. Enter the consumer-action strategy of (Product) Red. On the ground in Rwanda, Alex Shoumatoff learns what a difference buying (Red) can make. Photographs by Antonin Kratochvil.

162CONGO FROM THE COCKPIT
Despite being blacklisted, the Congo's rogue airline pilots keep trade flowing with jerry-rigged planes. As William Langewiesche finds, the family behind one charter outfit has an equally dramatic saga of wreckage and survival. Photographs by Guy Tillim.

168A MAN CALLED HOPE
When Nelson Mandela stepped out of the political spotlight, in 1999, he moved center stage in the struggle against H.I.V./aids. Bill Clinton, who took a similar path, shares his stories of the legendary freedom fighter.

170SHOWTIME IN THE SAHARA
Like a rowdy mirage, "the world's most remote" music festival fills the Sahara with explosive rhythm. MTV founder Tom Freston has scoped a lot of bands, but in Mali he hears a whole new dimension. Plus: Youssou N'Dour's West African playlist. Photographs by Jonas Karlsson.

176PORTFOLIO: SPIRIT OF AFRICA
Some see only Africa's poverty, disease, and corruption. They should look a bit closer. From archbishops and athletes to doctors and movie directors, V.F. focuses on 71 Africans who are defying the status quo. Portfolio by Jonas Karlsson, Mark Seliger, and other top photographers.

110OUT OF AFRICA
The DNA shared by the world's six-billion-plus people ultimately comes from the same place. Leading the Genographic Project, Spencer Wells traces a global debt to Africa.

116HALL OF FAME
Bobby Shriver and Evgenia Peretz nominate the Buffett siblings and the One Campaign for narrowing the gap between Africa's have-nots and America's haves. Photographs by Christian Witkin and Gasper Tringale.

118THE CONTINENTAL SHELF
Attending the first-ever Kwani? literary festival, in Nairobi, Elissa Schappell and Rob Spillman identify the grand old authors and hot young talents of an African renaissance. Photographs by Brigitte Lacombe.

198DIANA'S FINAL HEARTBREAK
As she divorced, Princess Diana found a very public new mission—to ban land mines—and a very private new man: Pakistani heart surgeon Hasnat Khan. In an excerpt from her forthcoming book, Tina Brown explores how Diana's promising second act turned dark.
Special Section

45"IT'S BONO, ON LINE ONE"
Following the 21-person relay on Annie Leibovitz's historic cover series—Warren Buffett to Oprah to George Clooney, among other high-profile handoffs—Lisa Robinson reports on their Africa connection.

FANFAIR
67
Like a prayer—Madonna's Malawi documentary brings hope to orphaned children. The Cultural Divide. Kelly Slater surfs J-Bay with the locals. Lisa Robinson's summer festivals.
Vanities

149
PHETO attraction. V.F.'s guest editor and Ed Coaster swashbuckle from Bamako to Soweto. Chris Rock's African vacation. George Wayne gushes over Liya Kebede.

A cool way to make a difference!

So I just happened to watching ABC Evening News tonight and was told about one of the coolest things ever! (well, I don't expect you to be as excited as I am but hopefully you will be inspired as well...)
I have been familiar with the concept of microfinance and microcredit for many years now. One of the things that has economic development in empoverished and developing countries is the inability for entrepreneurs to have access to capital. A vegetable seller wants to borrow $100 to set up a stand in the local market. Where can he go to borrow that money? There were very few options. He has no credit history since he has never had a bank account, no real collateral, and the amount he wants to borrow is much less than the loan minimum a traditional bank would lend. Previously, there was no place to for him to get the funds for his dream. But increasingly, there are options for these types of small scale entrepreneurs. You may have heard about the most recent Nobel Prize winner, Mohammad Yunus. He was just a Pakistani economics professor who saw the need for these types of loan in his native Pakistan and has turned it into a large lending organization that has one of the highest repayment rates and lowest default rates of a lending organization in the world. (He also founded Grameen Phone which provides loans for cellphones to women in villages with little or no phone service, who then resell use of the phone to their village mates -- when a person would typically have to travel a day or two to use a phone, this is an invaluable service.) The impact that these loans have on the people who get them and the economies that benefit from them are immeasurable! I had even looked into getting a job with the organization but the headquarters is located in Seattle :-( For more information on Grameen Bank and its sister organizations, click here.

At any rate, while these organizations sound great, there have not really been ways for regular people to be involved in them. Until now......

Meet Kiva.org!

Kiva.org brings microlending to the people. The organization, whose name means "agreement" in Swahili, partners with microfinance organizations and allows you to search through opportunities in numerous countries to lend money to needy entrepreneurs. And even cooler, there is an opportunity to pool your money with other lenders. You don't have to take on the risk of the entire loan requested. Instead, donate however much to have to spare toward the amount requested. And in the 3 years the site has been in existence and of the 9,000 loans they have enabled, they have only have one default! The site also provides information and pictures of the person requesting the loan as well as allows you to create a profile that will be shared when you make a loan. It is the personal connection that is created that is particularly appealing. You get a feeling for where and to whom your money is going. So I urge you all to go to the site, take a look and maybe donate a few dollars. Just think, for the cost of a martini or two, you could give a family in Uganda a cow!

One of the reasons ABC News did a story on Kiva was that they just recently started offering loans to entrepreneurs in Iraq. So if you feel frustrated about the war or helpless to try to find a way to help the situation in Iraq, you can make a loan. Other countries where
you can make a difference include Samoa, Togo, Kenya, Ecuador, Mexico, Azerbaijan, Nicaragua, Honduras, Bulgaria, Cambodia, Ukraine, Tanzania, Nigeria, Afghanistan, Senegal, Dominican Republic, Haiti, Cameroon, Bolivia, Uganda, Vietnam, Indonesia, Ivory Coast, Guatemala & Bangladesh.

To view the ABC New story, click here.